There's No Rainbow In My Sky

The car stopped a little ahead of the bus-stop. After a minute or two, a lady got out and walked forward aimlessly – unsure of herself. She took in the scenery as if trying to match it with what was stored in her memory. “Shruthi…….. shruthi”. Awakening from her meandering, the lady turned back. Her brother - who was in the driving seat - was calling out to her. She said, “Don’t call me by that name. No, not here.” He looked back, confused. “Well I’m not familiar calling you by any other name.” She replied “Just call me Jasmine for now.”

Shruthi had landed in Bangalore that morning for a 2 day sojourn. She had a lot to catch up with, but not have enough time or inclination. She didn’t intend to extend her stay, even though the reasons were convincing enough. She wanted to meet her son more than anything else. It has been 16 years since she’s seen him last. She had been privy to his pictures, but she thirsted to meet him. She had to see him in the flesh and blood – she needed to touch him. He is a part of her, a mother can never ever forget that or detach from that fact.  

Shruthi had married 17 years back, a love-marriage it was. Some love marriages are never meant to be, Shruthi’s was one such. Love needs nurturing, care and respect for one another. You got to invest time, energy and patience to keep a marriage going. Ravi and she were in love for 4 years before they got married. But as time went by Ravi became indifferent and the marriage went bonkers.

Shruthi’s family was not for the alliance from the word go– especially her brother – he knew Ravi too well he said. But Shruthi did not heed to the warnings. Pretty much similar to any teenaged girl who falls head over heels in love at an adolescent age would. Girls are pretty sure that they can change things around and they literally live clinging to that picture they have embedded in their subconscious until it comes crumbling down. Shruthi’s marital bliss lost its sheen within a year. After the marriage Ravi began working at a call-center as the emoluments would suffice them to have an upper-middle class existence.  

As his work was related to US support, he had to work the graveyard shift. Slowly it took a toll on his health and he gave in to alcohol to feel better for that loss. Soon they had their first child – a son and named him Arnav – Shruthi always wanted a son and loved the name Arnav. Soon she realized that a single salary could not make ends meet. Hence Shruthi began working too. She took up the job of a receptionist at an office nearby. She attended calls, carried out basic communication chores on a computer and basically ensured hiccup-free functioning of the office.    

Ravi stopped working as his alcohol addiction got worse. And then began the physical assaults. He needed money to maintain a drunken stupor, while Shruthi tried her best at managing the family, especially the requirements of their son. Finally she had to accept defeat and sent her son to her home to be cared for. She was worried when Ravi would turn on to Arnav to quench his anger. Finally after a few months she had to concede defeat, she could no longer take the beatings and decided to find a job in one of the Gulf countries. She was concerned about her son’s future.  

After couple years of marriage and a son, Shruthi left the Indian shores to earn money to support her family and the get away from the physical assaults. She was promised the job of a secretary to a Saudi businessman. For almost a year everything was hunky dory, but slowly the true colors of her employer came to the fore. He began to coerce her to visit his home giving alibis that there was some business work to be done. He said he had an office there too. So she began visiting the home of her employer and worked in his home-cum-office twice a week. But when there was no one around he would take the opportunity to touch her inappropriately.

She lived with a few Sri Lankan citizens in an apartment and shared all her troubles and difficulties with her closest friend Sameeksha. Her only respite was on weekends when she called her son to speak to him. He was just 2 and did not fathom the troubles his mother took to ensure he had a pleasant life. He would go on speaking about anything that caught his eye. Most often than not it would be the animals around or birds or bikes or cars. One day while she was speaking, he blurted out, mom, there’s a rainbow in the sky mom- can you see it? He was too young to fathom the difference. Shruthi replied, no son, there’s no rainbow in my sky.

Finally one day Shruthi’s boss demanded sexual favors, but Shruthi succeeded in averting his approaches a couple of times. But in such situations there isn’t much a young nubile girl can do in a Gulf country where employers hold on to employee’s passports. Finally she had to give in to his evil desires. Even though initially there wasn’t much trouble, but after about 4/5 months her boss began to ill-treat her for minor errors.

One day she overheard him saying to someone on the phone that he wanted her out of the way as she knew too many secrets. Shruthi knew she did not have enough time or options. Her passport was with her employer. On sharing her plight with her room-mate, Sameeksha agreed to provide her with a passage to Sri Lanka. Sameeksha’s cousin worked on a container ship and he could make the necessary arrangements.

One fine day she boarded a container ship and set sail to Sri Lanka. After reaching there she had to lie low as she was without a passport. But she managed to call her son and speak to him a couple times a month. She called her brother on his mobile, she informed him that her boss had sent her over to Sri Lanka as they had opened an office there and she was deputed to be there for 6 months.

After a couple of months in Sri Lanka with Sameeksha’s relatives help she applied for citizenship and took up the name ‘Jasmine’. She lived with one of Sameeksha’s relative – David as man and wife. Jasmine began working in Sri Lanka. She had thoughts of returning to India, but returning to the same old life dissuaded her from traveling to India. Over and above she didn’t have her Indian passport with her.  

She planned to stay put in Sri Lanka and one day get her son over. But tragedy struck again after a few months months, David with whom she was living left her and joined forces with the LTTE. The Sri Lankan army came searching about his antecedents. Shruthi/Jasmine fled from there and moved to Colombo. But she knew that her days in Sri Lanka were done with. Finally with whatever money she had, she purchased a one-way ticket to Geneva.

One fine day she landed in Geneva after almost 2 years after she left India. She registered herself as a refugee in Switzerland.

“Jasmine”, it was her brother calling. He pointed to few young boys ambling down from far away. She recognized her son among the other boys. She remembered him from the pictures that had been mailed to her. Her eyes welled up. His father had filled him up with lies regarding his her. Her brother got down from the car and went up to her son – Jasmine too alighted from the car. Her brother brought her son over. Shruthi’s brother said, ”Meet my colleague, her name is Jasmine” The boy came forward and extended his hand, “Hi, Auntie my name is Arnav”.