Love

                                          Love 

Gifting during occasions is a part of the Indian tradition. I have mostly found men wanting at the task, while women seem to have a natural flair for it. To comprehend its intricacies, I picked the brains of a close friend – a woman of course, to decipher how she always came up with the perfect gift for every occasion. What she told me really made sense, wonder why I never thought of it. 

She said it is very simple, “All you gotta do is know the person, put yourself in their shoes.” Knowing the recipient is imperative, otherwise stick to flowers or a gift cheque. My credo of gifting is, what I perceive useful universally or worthy or valuable. So here is the solution to all male-folks who find difficulty in gifting their friends for any occasion. 

Take a good look at them – more than what the eye can see, for example, someone who attends college or goes to office – you could gift them a good bag, could be leather or a one branded depending on your budget.

I remember my  mom gifting my aunt a torch, very thoughtful cause my aunt wakes up early & found it difficult to get her bearings right. But then my predicament comes back when you think about well to do folks, they own the very best of everything so anything (expensive or mundane) would not suffice.

I was part of a Christian Youth Mission & we made it a point to visit Orphanages, Old Age Homes, Destitute Centers, etc., On one such visit to an Old Age Home I met a very old lady (Ms.Irene), in her late eighties or early nineties. 

She had been in the Old Age Home for a decade odd years. The Office staff had told us that she came from a well do family & had a few children. Most of them were either abroad & a couple of daughters who lived in India, but Irene was not keen to stay with her daughters as she did not consider it right. 

And since most of that age are busy with children, life & family chores taking care of the old even parents are relegated to the professionals. 

Due to my work schedule, I had to part ways with the Christian Youth group. But as the said Old Age Home was near to my home, I visited it on a regular basis & spent time with Irene. She was always in a good spirits even though she was not too mobile & had to depend on others for most chores. She was confined to the Old Age Home. 

Her relatives, her daughters & their family members made regular visits, but her son visited her ones in a year- like a pilgrimage, trooped in with his family & bringing goodies in tow.

It was at this point of time I got thinking what love is – as one aspect & the other what is that you should gift a person whom you care for. When you are invited to a birthday party or when you go for a wedding, what do you gift? Or when you go to a relative’s house or meet a friend after a long hiatus, what is the apt gift for the occasion, something that would be valued by the receiver. 

As I made my regular visits to the Old Age Home I usually carried some sweet-meats. Or on certain occasions if I could beat up something at home, I made it a point to carry it to them & found the folks more receptive to stuff from home/homemade eats. Irene would most probably be lying of the bed with her eyes to the door, I could almost feel her waiting to meet up with me on Saturdays.

I would have my packages in hand, she would lay a customary glance on it, I would hand her the package, she would open it & try a piece of snack, something that caught her eye, there would be the slightest of the twinkle in the eye if it did titillate her palate, maybe somewhere in her memory she related it to her past.

She would always take a bite of it & place the rest of it nearby – she really knew how to savor good stuff. We would talk on a myriad of topics - the outside world, the latest happenings in the city, in the county, her long lost friends. Then it would be about my home, my folks, their kids. Then Irene would open up to share the secrets of the Old Age Home, the inmates, who visited whom. 

The presents received, daily squabbles with the staff, if there was a death. 

She would talk about her past, about days spent at her home, her relatives, children, family, kids. At this point of time I got thinking as to what is that could be given to Irene of value to her. What is that which could be treasured.

Then I realized the irrefutable & precious gift to give anybody is your time. Ones given, history records it- there is no denying it- never forgotten. Anything else you give, gets washed away or is lost or disfigured with time. Only your time stands the test of that greatest adversary.

After several months, I could literally feel Irene becoming weaker. She had lost the will to live, there seemed to be no meaning- sometimes I think we ourselves are our greatest enemy. She was tired waiting. 

One day the warden called me asking me to take time to meet Irene, the day I reached there I found some of her folks there too. When she saw me there was a hint of smile on her lips, I walked up to her & held her hand. I felt a very gentle squeeze. 

I know when I leave this abode we never take anything with us, but yet I think there are some things which will follow us up there. I felt richer than the rich then. The greatest gift a man can give to any human being is their time, you tell them that you are valued & you are giving them something which can never be taken away. 

Something etched in history. Love is to give a part of yourself.  

What Love Is

What Love Is

Gifting during occasions is a part of the Indian tradition. Women are pretty good at it, I always had difficulty in deciding what to gift, anyone for that matter- even my own. So I picked the brains of a close friend – a woman of course, to decipher how she always came up with the perfect gift for every occasion. What she told me really made sense, wonder why I never thought of it. She said it is very simple, “All you gotta do is know the person, put yourself in their shoes.” 

Knowing the recipient is imperative, otherwise stick to flowers or a gift cheque. My credo of gifting is, what I perceive useful universally or worthy or valuable. So here is the solution to all male-folks who find difficulty in gifting their friends during any occasion. Take a good look at them – more than what the eye can see, for example, someone who attends college or goes to office – you could gift them a good bag, could be leather or a branded. 

I remember my  mom gifting my aunt a torch, very thoughtful cause my aunt wakes up early & could not get her bearings right. But then my predicament comes back when you think about well to do folks, they own the best of everything so anything (expensive or mundane) would not suffice.

I was part of a Christian Youth Mission & we made it a point to visit Orphanages, Old Age Homes, Destitute Centers, etc., On one such visit to an Old Age Home I met a very old lady (Ms.Irene), in her late eighties or early nineties. She had been in the Old Age Home for a decade odd years. 

The Office staff had told us that she came from a well do family & had a few children. Most of them were either abroad & a couple of daughters who lived in India, but Irene was not keen to stay with her daughters as she did not consider it right. And since most of are busy with children, life & family chores, taking care of the old parents is relegated to the professionals. Due to my work schedule, I had to part ways with the Christian Youth group. 

But as the said Old Age Home was near to my home, I visited it on a regular basis & spent time with Irene. She was always in a good mood even though she was not too mobile & had to depend on others for most chores. She was confined to the Old Age Home. Her relatives, her daughters & their family members visited her once in awhile, her son ones in a year like a pilgrimage trooped in with his family & bringing goodies in tow.

It was at this point of time I got thinking 'what is love' – as one aspect & the other - what invaluable gift can you give anybody. When you are invited to a birthday party or when you go for a wedding, what do you gift? Or when you go to a relative’s house or meet a friend after a long hiatus, what is the apt gift for the occasion, something that would be valued by the receiver. 

As I made my regular visits to the Old Age Home I made it a point to carry some sweet-meats. Or on certain occasions if I could beat up something at home, I made it a point to carry it to them & found the folks more receptive to stuff from home/homemade eats. 

Irene would most probably be on bed eyeing the door, I could almost feel her waiting to meet up with me on Saturdays when I usually made it to the Home by 11 AM. I would have my packages in hand, she would lay a customary glance on it, I would unpack before her eager eye & she would gingerly take a bite of it, there would be a twinkle in her eye as it titillates her palate. 

Then she would offer me a piece, she loved to share stuff. 

She would place the other half nearby – she knew how to savor what she ate. We would talk on a myriad of topics - the outside world, the latest happenings in the city, in the county, her long lost friends. Then it would be about my home, my folks, their kids. Then Irene would open up to share the secrets of the Old Age Home, the inmates, who visited whom. 

The presents received, daily squabbles with the staff, if there was a death. She would talk about her past, about days spent at her home, her relatives, children, family, kids. At this point of time realization hit me - the precious most thing you could give anyone. What is that could be valued by these folks. Then I realized the irrefutable most precious gift to give anybody is your time. 

Ones given, history records it- there is no denying it- never forgotten. Anything else you give, gets washed away or is lost or disfigured with time. Only your time stands the test of that greatest adversary.

After several months, I could literally see Irene become weaker. She had lost the will to live, there seemed to be no meaning, but a wait for the inevitable- I think we ourselves are our greatest enemy. 

One day the warden called me asking me to take time to meet Irene, the day I reached there I found some of her folks there too. When she saw me there was a hint of smile on her lips, I walked up to her & held her hand. I felt a very gentle squeeze. 

I felt richer than the rich then. I know when I leave this abode we never take anything with us, but yet I think there are some things which i would be able to take.     

Testimony

Testimony

This is my testimony for the love our Lord has bestowed on me. This has to do with events transpired many moons back, this has come to pass due to the inspiration of my mother at cajoling me into writing this so as to thank the Lord for His constant love & protection. It’s certainly our mothers who endure the anxiety & trepidation sitting at home waiting for their sons or daughters to come back home – especially in a city like Bangalore.  

Thank the Lord, that certainly I did, a silent prayer for having got out of the quagmire with not too much damage, but am sure if I had to pay for it with something more than a scratch I would have been like where were you Lord when I needed you most. This is also written for all those people who have had their faith tested time & again to convince you that God cares, it is up to us sometimes to see beyond such occurrences to a higher calling.   

I travel to work daily by a 2-wheeler, am a resident of Bangalore. Even though I own a car (I use my bike) which is a safer mode of transportation; I have taken to this form of travel so as to save time. My office is located more than 20km from my residence, hence I preferred traveling by bike as I could reach office in an hour. But by car it could easily take me a couple of hours.
One day on my way to the office in the morning, I took a curve on the road and suddenly found that the traffic in front of me was not moving, it was standstill, because of the curve the traffic jam ahead was not noticed by me.

So as I slowed down quickly I became aware of a very loud noise behind me, when I looked in my rear view mirror I realized that it was a lorry coming at an uncontrollable speed. I realized the lorry would not stop in time, so even though there was practically no space ahead of me – as there was a traffic jam, I squeezed my bike in between 2 vehicles – just then the lorry came & crashed into the traffic pile in front of it. The lorry hit in all 6 vehicles including mine, 2 person were injured grievously & 3 others minor injuries including me. But my bike was broken up as it had taken the brunt of the hit from the lorry in its rear. Looking at my bike people asked what happened to this bike’s rider & they were all shocked to see that I had suffered only minor bruises.    

The next incident that I have to narrate also happened during my morning commute to my office. As my bike had been given for service, I borrowed my friend’s scooter (Honda Activa), I was in a hurry as I was late to office. But being new & inexperienced on a scooter I should have been more careful because on a bike the stopping distance is much lesser & control is better on a bike rather than a scooter. As I was approaching an intersection a bike & rider rushed from the opposite direction & cut across me, if I had not slowed down immediately I would have hit that bike. 

So I pressed both the brakes of the Activa, but the scooter being new to me & as I was not having enough experience on a scooter, the scooter went into a skid & I fell down on the road, there was a lorry behind me coming at a very good speed. I don’t know how he managed to stop the fully laden behemoth before anything untoward occurred. After falling to the ground when I looked up I was under the lorry just few inches away from the front wheel.

And finally the last incident that I want to narrate happened around 3 PM, one of my uncle’s had passed away unexpectedly & I planned to attend his funeral in Kerala. As his demise was sudden I had to the visit office to complete necessary works before I could leave (as I would be away for 2 or 3 days). So I took off in the afternoon & hoped to catch a bus early in the evening to my home town in Kearla. So I was rushing home to pack & leave. I was traveling in the inner roads which had lots of crossings, but I was on the main road. All of a sudden a bike with 2 persons on it came from one of the bye roads at a very high speed & knocked into me even before I could react. The hit threw me off my bike & I landed few meters away & my bike went crashing too. 

The other bike & riders too were hurt in the incident. Later I found that the driver of the other bike was drunk & they picked a quarrel with me saying I was not careful & got into the intersection at high speed. I called the Police, they reached immediately & all of us went to the nearby Police station to sort things out. The Police clarified that it was not an error on my side but the other rider was at fault, over & above at the Police Station they were telling that the pillion rider was the driver as they actual driver was drunk & did not own a licence either. I missed my bus, could not travel to Kerala due to the injuries suffered, over & above I had to take off for a week to recover from the ordeal.

Hence as you can see overall I have been protected from any major injuries during – I would say in the past 10 yrs from anything debilitating injury even though I travel so much. My friends always asked me if I had any backache problems due to so much travel on a 2-wheeler, but our Lord has been very kind & loving to me all through.

I also take this opportunity to thank our Blessed Mother Mary for her constant intercession & I always make it a point to pray for all my wayfarers whenever I travel on a bike or by car. God Bless. 

Highway Driving (Long Distance Driving)

Highway Driving (Long Distance Driving)

Most people who own 4 wheeler's begin off driving in urban or rural locales depending on their place of stay. Most probably, within the confines of a 50 km range. Here the top speed certainly would not be above 60 kmph & average speed would be around 30 kmph. Am sure most of us are aware that in a recent survey the average speed in Bengaluru is found to be around 15 kmph – could be much lower in the CBD. In fact I have seen people who purchase new cars usually take them out on highways with few days of owning these cars, I do not say that it does not augur well, but yes if you are a first time owner of a 4-wheeler then it certainly is not be advisable. Driving in the city or on highways is way different. And most are graduating from 2-wheelers, hence knowingly or unknowingly their style of driving is similar to what they were doing while driving 2-wheelers. Am sure this makes sense to you if you are one such driver.

 Like getting into an intersection at higher speeds, not really taking into account the width & length of the vehicle, sometimes going over bumps at higher speeds, trying to overtake even if the space may not be enough, sometimes overtaking via the left side of a vehicle, not keeping enough distance with the vehicle ahead, fishtailing, etc., Sometimes such folks meet up with mishaps which might be due to carelessness of other drivers or sometimes due to an error in judgment on their side.

During long distance driving or highway driving, the speeds are always higher as compared to city driving, this is the first & the most important detail that needs to be factored during highway driving. What we got to understand is when the speeds are higher the braking (stopping) will be slower, that is distance to stop will be considerably higher. And there are chances of the vehicle going into a skid in panic braking & then total loss of control of the vehicle & disaster. 

And because the speeds are much higher you are covering more distance each second, hence your reaction time is important. If & when your reaction time is slow (due to various reasons) then there are chances vehicle would reach a region where you are not assuming it would reach. So utmost important to keep your eye on the road at all times, hence if there are people alongside & you have a habit of keeping eye contact while conversing then there could be trouble which should be avoided. At higher speeds having a sense of timing is important, this comes only with practice. 

This is something like when on a highway, you notice a bus ahead and much further ahead you notice another vehicle approaching – you do not know for sure who will reach the vehicle first (that is to the one ahead of you on your lane). If you are approaching at a higher speed & then you realize the opposite vehicle would be reaching first, you might have to resort to panic braking to slow down to avoid rear ending the vehicle ahead of you. But in case you slow down & reach the vehicle much earlier than you thought you would, now you may not get enough time to accelerate & overtake the vehicle ahead of you. Something i have faced at regularly, if you are an expert at this you could reach your destination on time especially on roads with 2 way traffic. 

Fatigue is another important factor, because driving long distances – more time is involved & keeping a steady concentration for longer periods gets you fatigued, then your reaction time could be slower while you may certainly not be slowing down due to fatigue. So its important to get enough rest & take timely breaks. Night driving on highways is something absolutely way different, day driving certainly helps hone your skills. In a country like India especially where the roads are bad & traffic is haphazard, over & above not too many folks follow all necessary regulations driving on highways needs to be practiced with caution. 

Long Drives

                                             Long Drives

One of the desires that people usually mention during talks or moments of ‘baring the heart’ is the intent to go on long drives. It has always intrigued me as to why people desire to go on long drives, what is that really impels them or produces a kind of solace even while contemplating it. I have had the good fortune of doing long drives on numerous occasions in my late 20’s and mid-30’s. This basically began when after education we started working & found the world granite under-foot, not the grassy knolls we were used to.

I have been driving off to far-flung locales in groups of 4 to 6 persons for reasons unbeknown & beyond comprehension it was more like a running away from the present– but it certainly did give me a feeling of respite so as to recharge our batteries & come back to the same high strung work atmosphere. Before we drive off or during the planning stage itself I ask my companions what is the motivation of the drive? 1) Is the motivation to go for the drive to take rest a break from the back-breaking work we do? 2) Or is it to see & enjoy the beauty of some scenic spot? 3) Or finally is it the journey which is important than the destination? Ones this is clear in the mind then we can decide on where to go & how far so as to decide on the location.

If & when the decision is basically with the intent to go for a long drive & have rest at the destination – our usual destination was Goa – the booze was cheap & there were other recreations too, from Bangalore it took us roughly 10 hours to get there. Hence ones in a month (one weekend) was spent in Goa. With 2 or 3 persons in the group who can drive, 10 hours drive was not too much ado. As I did most of the driving, what I realized is that during the drive we got to keep our mind off all the other things which would otherwise cram for space in the cranium & it absolutely had to be on the road. Am sure most folks will agree that in India doing long drives, is not like in other developed countries where the roads are super paved & the traffic light. 

In India the traffic is crazy, the roads are bad & there isn’t much space of the road either (with most roads being 2-way). Keeping a good 60 kmph average is very commendable indeed. Hence while driving, our mind of devoid of all the stuff garnered over the week or month would be calm. Driving was certainly cathartic to me. It was more like a mediation, we all know that meditation is not for the young, its really difficult to keep the mind absolutely empty & from straying. 

Hence what happens during long drives is what should happen during a meditation, we keep the mind literally empty, keep it from the straying & this could go on for more than a couple of hours. This certainly has a very salubrious effect on the mind, brain, the persona & telling effects on the physical being too. And these long drives exhausted you so that you had pretty good sleep at the destination. Overall a rejuvenated you.     

A True Believer - Jonah

Of all the personalities in the Bible, there are umpteen of them in the old & new Testaments put together– some were absolutely faithful like Abraham, some renown like David, some infamous like Pharaoh, some pious, others shallow or hideous to name a few with their signature uniqueness, there would also be a handful who would have impressed upon each one of us their characteristics & persona. One such personality who has had a telling effect on me is Jonah.  Even though Jonah did not have too much written about himself in the Bible – only about 4 chapters & a week of his life, in the little that was written he has very clearly revealed his personality & character. Let me take this opportunity to put across the reasons for my undeniable amity towards this prophet.

Firstly, when God asked Jonah to go to Nineveh & preach the coming of punishment for their evil ways, Jonah’s reaction to the command was to flee by ship to Tarshish. This could be looked upon as a serious misdemeanor, but Jonah himself says that he knows God too well (that God is slow to anger & abounding in steadfast love) to comprehend that a loving God will not let this come to pass if there is repentance. Hence his response to the command - flee.

Secondly, while traveling in a ship which is struck by a rare storm – but in its wake Jonah is resting peacefully in the lower deck knowing explicitly that God protects his children come what. It is then that the other sea-farers notice one of their co-traveler’s asleep, they awaken him & asks him to pray to his God to save them all. Finally when a lot is cast to find who could be held accountable for his predicament, the name of Jonah comes up. Here also we see Jonah’s undeniable faith in his Maker, he gives instruction that he may be tossed into the sea (so that the ship, crew, passengers & cargo maybe saved) knowing very well that his Abba will take care of him.

But we can now see that Jonah has the first effects of his rebellion dilute and then he is swallowed by a fish, he prays to God for respite from the belly of the fish & is spewed on dry land after spending three days & three nights in the belly of the fish.

The word now came to Jonah a second time & he traveled to Nineveh, which is a considerably large city (three days walk across & population of one hundred twenty thousand) & goes about declaring the coming of disaster. We can here gather that he was good at his art, due to which the King of Nineveh repented & proclaimed a fast for all citizens (& animals too). They were asked to put on sackcloth, sit in ashes, cry mightily to God, turn from their evil ways & violence – so that God may relent & change his mind.

Therefore God relented & took the calamity away, but this displeased Jonah, who clearly states that he knew beforehand that God is merciful. Here we have something to learn, Jonah was more worried about his reputation getting tarnished by being proved wrong – his ego playing truant. So God teaches him a lesson, after proclaiming the coming of disaster Jonah waits sitting in a booth under the hot sun, the Lord appoints a bush to provide shade for Jonah from the scorching sun, but the next day a worm attacked the bush & withered it. The sun then beat down rather harshly that Jonah who concerned about his reputation being at stake & his discomfort due to loss of the bush. God tells Jonah that the loss of a bush which provided relief made him melancholic then how much concern would God have for so much life.

Thus we can see in Jonah a true believer, one who very clearly comprehends Gods love & providence. 

K V J Alumni Meet - 21st May 2016

                                        K V J Alumni Meet - 21st May 2016


Its been really long since i have peeped into this particular slot of my life.

Reasons far & many, shall take it up one at a time.

Starting with today, Today a red letter day. The KVJ Alumni Meet took place a Sambharam Resort near M.S Palya in Bangalore.
Dakshiyani had attended too, my batch-mate.
I had no inkling that i would be attending, but then my elder brother had been sending me messages and forwards regarding the said meet. And Daksh also was hinting at the same. Since she had attended a meeting prior this one she was being coerced (forgive me for being brash) to attend the formal one.
The folks conducting wanted an elaborate Alumni status as KVJ under one umbrella.
Lets hope something like this happens. Somebody has to take up the cudgel.
Kick off was assigned for 3 PM.
I made it to the venue by around 3:15 PM, thanks to Jacob Abraham.
My batch mate & owner of M./s Rontek.